Learning to Love myself 

    The life of an empath and psychic who is an introvert can be lonely sometimes. I don't reach out to others with my problems, I tend to have only one or two people I feel I can trust with my inner most feelings. I am almost 51 years old and sometimes I can still hear that little girl who is scared and lonely inside me. 
    Last week I read an article on Facebook and felt moved to my very core. The article was talking about mental illness and what exactly we are doing to the so called mentally ill. Have we wasted several generations focusing on the behavior and not the root cause? I believe we have, the article went on to call the mentally ill our prophets and seers. I would like to address this and to do that I need to tell you a little of my story.

     I was born in 1965 in Atlanta, GA. I had two loving parents and a younger brother. growing up I am are you could not tell the pain I was in, I hid it well. I lashed out in anger and was disruptive. My parents called me headstrong and rebellious and of course we live up to the labels we are given. I could not stand to be told to follow along and play nice it was just not in me to be a sheep.
     I remember seeing Angels and hearing voices from a young age, I had several near death experiences including meningitis, I saw my father get shot at 6 and was molested while he was in the hospital. my parents got a divorce when I was 10 and my mother got remarried a few years later, I got a great stepfather who really tried to challenge me, I learned a lot from him and realize that now. 
      Then puberty hit between 15 and 16 my gifts became to hard to cover up. I was hearing everything that people were thinking and feeling. Unfortunately I had no one to tell me this was ok and to teach me how to shield and ground. The dark spirits started showing up and I really thought I was crazy (I mean that is what my mom and the doctors were telling me). After several visits to the Psych ward (which are not kid friendly and I was only 15 the first time) I had to blame someone for the pain I was in so I choose to blame my parents. I left home and got married to my first husband (boy was that a mistake).
     Several more suicide attempts and more pain than I could even describe, more meds than I could list here. I totally believed I was crazy. When I reached 30 I knew that there was more to what was happening to me than I was being told.
I have way more to write, but it is not relevant to this story so I will save it for another day.
     My life started to change when I was 30, I met my husband Rob and we have been together for 21 years, he is my best friend and love of my life. He has totally supported me no matter what. This has allowed me to stretch and grow in ways I never thought I could. It took another 10 years before I found my tribe in Atlanta, Ga. 
     My purpose in this life is to help people feel loved and understand their purpose. I have had so many mentors along the way and would not be where I am without them. This had a major impact on me and I have always felt led to help young people who have been through some of the same things as me. This is a serious issue, can you imagine the number of people who have been committed or who were in so much pain they could not stay here and committed suicide. We as the generation that have made it through need to step up an help lead our people out of this pain and confusion by being open about what we have experienced.  We should always strive to give back to this life and give love to each and everyone especially when we don't think we can. If anyone would like to discuss this part of my life in more detail I am available please visit www.BethRennie.com and fill out the contact form.

See ya on the flip side